Still Thankful

[Steve]

The day was Wednesday, November 24, 2004. I was headed to get a massage and afterwards see a couple of movies. I started experiencing excruciating pain in my left thigh. The pain became so severe I pulled over in a church parking lot because I could no longer safely drive. Eventually the pain got so bad, it actually felt like my body was being ripped in half, my waist became the mid-point of a tug-a-war. Once the ambulance arrived the only feeling I had from waist down was in my left foot.
Upon MRI it was discovered that I had an AVM between T11 and T12 that had ruptured. The following day was Thanksgiving and the surgical team my neurosurgeon wanted to be in place, were not all in town. So I was place on steroids to prevent any more bleeding and sugery was performed on 12/1/2005. The following week I went to a rehabilitation facility. I was told the goal was for me to leave the facility wheelchair independent, and the surgeon was unable to give me a prognosis at that time, stating that "Only God Knows".
I was astounded to realize that I couldn't even do the simplist of task, like sitting-up. Initially it took a couple of people to get me from the bed to the wheelchair in order to go to therapy each day. But over time that got better and before I left the facility I was able to use a sliding board and do this on my own. About two months after being in the rehab I could wiggle my big toe on my right foot. I have no bowel or bladder control, therefore I use Enemeez daily for bowel and self-catherizations for bladder. I prefer this to an indwelling catheter as I have regained feeling in a lot of areas waist down. This does limit the amount of time I can be out and about, but it works better for me.
I came home on 2/16/2005 in a wheelchair, which I am still in as of today. I am able to move my right leg quite a bit, and minimal muscle movement in my left leg. I have feeling in portions of my right leg and even at the bottom of my right foot. I have some feeling in my left leg from knee up. My neurosurgeon has given me the prognosis that everything will return, that it is just a matter of time. I still go to therapy a couple of times a week, and I have an Easy Stand glider that I use at home. I feel it is worth every dime. I had to appeal my insurance company to help pay for the stander and for continued therapy. I want to encourage anyone that has had a claimed denied to appeal it. It's worth the effort.
I am still unable to stand without assistance, due to buckling in my left knee, but I think it is only a matter of time before I am using braces and at least standing on my own. The hardest part for me with therapy is not having clear cut goals. With this type of injury the therapist really don't have much advice they can give you. Especially for me, since I live in a very small town were most of their patients are orthopedics.
I am back driving with hand-controls and working from home for a computer firm. I think it is so key to get back into the work force as it makes you feel whole again.
Physically my biggest challenge is that I am uncomfortable from waist down ALL day long. I would compare it to sitting on a shoe all day. It's not painful, but it is not a good feeling. It doesn't matter if I am in bed or in the wheelchair. I have muscle contractions from waist down (not spasms). When asked what it is like, to me the contractions are similar to child birth. When these occur I am pretty much confined to the bed and I prefer to be left alone during these episodes as I am usually very irritable. I will sometime take pain medication, which relaxes me but the contractions continue. An episode could last from 2 to 12 hours. I prefer not to take any medication for the contractions, as I feel muscle movement is a good thing.
I have changed my eating habits over the past couple of months and have noted a significant weight loss, an increase in muscle tone, and increase in energy. At least 5 time a week I have a soy protein shake. I use in small amouts micronized creatine and royal jelly. My massage therapist has commented on how much my muscle mass and tone in both leg has increased since I started doing this.
Why still thankful? Each and every day I am alive I can see how wonderful God is. Even when I am feeling down, I can still find something to be thankful for.